Dennis Benson

Posts Tagged ‘Celebration’

This morning we noticed that the water in the large pond on the allotments has suddenly become crystal-clear. Throughout the summer and autumn it has been as black and forbidding as Albert’s vest, now we can actually count even the fish which lurk near the bottom. They must feel like Mrs Biggins when her curtains come down for their annual wash. But why does it happen?

Anyway, our attention today has been focussed on our primary schools. One of my fellow hen-keepers, Bill, has a niece who has just qualified to teach, and tells me that the government is proposing to reduce the number of times that a trainee can re-sit the final exams. Judy had to take the test three times and under the new rules she would have been fired off after two. Given the lass clearly has an affinity with small children and knows her subjects well that would have been a pity. But here’s the rub, Michael Gove has specifically excluded academies and free schools – run by private companies or other organisations outside of County Council control – from the new proposal. Now just why would he do that?

Character assasination is not our thing but it has to be said that Michael Gove always reminds us of those ’upper-class twits’ which used to feature in Monty Python. That’s his funny side, but there is a darker one. His behaviour toward those schools that have decided to stay within the state system is nothing short of dictatorial.

A perfect example is provided by Downhills primary school in Tottenham. The school has been told that either Gove will make an “academy order” or the governors can vote to do so themselves “by no later than 27 January 2012 ”. The school, he has ordered, must be taken over by “a business, university or private school”. Whichever emerges they will be free to use unqualified teachers.

This year Downhills has passed the acceptable rating of 60% and is making good progress, despite being in a difficult catchment area. Labour MP David Lammy is a former pupil and he is outraged by what is happening. There is, he says, no evidence that forced acadamies work in the primary sector and the Downhill children are being used in an attempt “to experiment with 100 years of proud history”.

Downhill’s head is Leslie Church. He says that the school has worked hard to improve the quality of teaching, but there is no alternative than to obey since Gove’s department is asking for a response without allowing any alternative. He worries that the move will mean that the school no longer has ” democratic accountability”. At present there is a democratically elected governing body, and a democratically elected local authority. Both have the power to change the head if they have cause for concern, neither has done so. Right now both parents and councillors see themselves as responsible and “behave in a supportive way”.

This is beginning to happen right across the country and, in the view of many educationalists, will have an adverse effect on primary schools where parent involvement is a major factor. Of course if the governors, who are elected by parents, decide to make such a move that is an entirely different matter.

But Gove is gaining a reputation as a little dictator. Before it is too late someone should remind him that we do still live in a democracy. Just!

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 TEST YOUR GENERAL KNOWLEDGE WITH THE WEEKEND QUIZ;

1.  Which former First Lady was nicknamed “The Smiling Mamba”?   2.  Who had hits with “Joanna” and “Celebration”?   3.  Where would you see a facula?   4.  Who played the title role in “The Life and Death of Peter Sellers”?   5.  Which country has a unit of currency called the Leone?  6.  The seaside town of Westward Ho is in which county?   7.  Oloroso is a type of which drink?    8.  Back in the charts in 2005, in what year was Bananarama’s first hit?   9.  Which Wonder of the World statue was at Olympia?   10.  In which century did William Caxton establish the first English printing press?

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Now we have monsoons to contend with! Not real ones of course, but enough of the wet stuff to make Albert’s joints ache, and the hens to adopt a marine like appearance and a decidedly spiteful diposition. This winter has seen us sliding and splashing in equal measure and we love neither. But come next Monday some of us will be in hot water too. Forgetting to at least buy some flowers at the filling station does tend to suggest to our better halves that February 14th no longer carries the magic that it once did.

And magical it once was. I remember my first hand-made Valentine card which I secretly slipped thorugh the letter box of Betty’s house. As I recall the verse was copied from someone else’s work; ” Roses are red, Violets are blue, They are sweet and so are you”. Doesn’t sound too sophisticated now, but we were only ten at the time. 

It may have been with people like us fogies in mind that the Rosemere Cancer Foundation has come up with a superb idea. It has decided to make Valentine’s Day it’s big event of the year and to remind everyone that we all have, or once had, a Valentine. It may be a day to send an unsigned card to a young man or lady, but it may be one to remember that however long we have been manacled togther, deep down we have a true and long-loved Valentine. Or it may be an occasion to remember in our hearts those we have loved and lost.

The Rosemere Cancer Foundation makes a huge contribution to the fight against cancer in northern England and income resulting from this unique approach to marking what for many seems something long gone will appropriately go toward the purchase of more cancer-fighting equipment which the NHS budget cannot stretch to. So I for one shall go along to the first ever grand Rosemere celebration of Valentines Day.

This is to be held in Blackburn Cathedral where an evening of music for all ages will take place. Hopefully it will be an interesting and moving experience. In my case the very fact of going to such an event for the first time in 55 years will, I suspect, make it feel like a renewal of vows even if the male voice choir is singing ‘Please release me’!  

Blackburn may be outside of your travel area but there is no law against you raising a glass with your Valentine, or in memory of one that once shared your joys and sorrows.

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            NEW CRIME INITIATIVES ARE AS DAFT AS THE PREVIOUS ONES!

When Tony Blair announced his plan to march arrested tearaways to the nearest cash machine he was quite rightly derided. It was but the first of many schemes supposedly aimed at bringing our town centres under control. All of them, including Asbos, failed utterly.

When a Conservative-dominated government took over many of us believed that there would now be a real crackdown on those who make our streets unsafe, real deterrents. Sadly Home Secretary Theresa May has announced replacements which are every bit as daft. It seems that when the police are trying to restore order and are dealing with extreme anti-social behaviour, they will be entitled to confiscate iPods, stereos and other such gadgets.

Some deterrent! The hardened lout will simply steal some more and will go on laughing at the police. And it will probably turn out that the confiscated property is not owned by the offender anyway.

There is only one way in which order will be restored. Arrests followed by an appearance before magistrates who have a range of real punishments available. And one of these must be loss of freedom, not cleaning police cars as suggested by the saintly Theresa. A number of detention centres run by ex-military RSMs would persuade the thugs that it is better not to re-offend.

Mind you Ms May’s plan to get rid of 20,000 bobbies may make arrests of any kind difficult !

THOUGHTS FOR TODAY; ” Men are chiefly good lovers when they are betraying their wives”…Marilyn Monroe  “I blame my father for telling me about the birds and bees. I was going steady with a woodpecker for two years”….Bob Hope   “All my mum told me about sex was that the man goes on top, and the woman goes to the bottom. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds”…..Joan Rivers   “The thing most women like in bed is breakfast”….Robin Williams  “My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask she objects”….Les Dawson     ”On my 80th birthday, I felt like a 20-year old. But there wasn’t one around”….Milton Berle    “Kissing Edwina Currie was like kissing a can opener”…..Godfrey Barker    “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home”….Phyllis Diller    “Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adultery”…Denis Norden     “If your parents never had children the chances are you won’t either”…..Dick Cavett    “My mother from time to time puts on her wedding dress. Not because she’s sentimental but because she gets really far behind with her ironing”….Brian Kiley   “When a man steals your wife there’s no better revenge than to let him keep her”…..Sacha Guitry   “They’d eat a worm if I gave it a French name”……Daphe Moon   “Gentility is what’s left over from rich ancestors when the money has gone”….John Ciardi   “I’m not a snob. Ask anybody. Well, anybody that matters” …..Simon LeBon

ANSWERS TO YESTERDAY’S QUIZ;    1.Ballet dancer   2.Nancy Mitford

TODAY’S QUESTIONS;    1.  Who was the British inventor of radar (died 1973)?   2.  What sort of vehicle was a Lunokhod?

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